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The clock struck 11 and I quickened my stiletto-adorned legs and clutched my pink medium-sized chic tote handbag tighter. I was late for class. Once again I scanned over the throng of people zigzagging around the place rushing to their various lecture halls and let out a grunt when one red-braided slim girl hit me accidentally and gave an apologetic smile mumbling a sorry.  Hell! This was shitty.

“Remind me again why I had to carry this stupid laptop with me?” I asked Naila my roommate who I happened to share this class with as well.

“Ubi shut up!” She rolled her eyes and looked mean with heavy black eyeliner, “That computer is new and you very well know we live among thieves.” Her red lips were chewing fast and popping gum as she talked almost as if she was a bubbling volcano about to erupt but holding it in.

“Wonder what crawled up your ass this morning!’ You are all negative energy sweetie.”

“Like I give a fuck! “ She shot back, “Now will you hurry up! Why the hell did you even wear those ridiculous shoes?”

Naila was the jean-Sneaker-t-shirt kind of girl with balls that challenged most guys.

“I’d like to think of myself as the kind that embraces her womanhood and uses it to her advantage,” I answered calmly. “ You should try it sometime!”

She only gave a snort. “Good luck with that honey! Being a bitch is all I got and I am proud of it!”

We were only three minutes away from the lecture halls when my phone started vibrating. My heels were clicking faster now! Holy shit! “Not a good time whoever you are! Not a good time!” I mumbled then simply ignored it.

When it rang a second time I thought it might be important.  I zipped it open and dug my hands in rummaging through whatever stuff you think a girl can carry, all the while Naila taping her foot impatiently at the pavement giving me an irritated glare.

“Where the hell is that phone?” I was getting impatient, “and stop with the tapping will you? Or would you rather do it?” My voice was laced with sarcasm.

“Ubi for Christ’s sake!” she grabbed my bag, opened up the side pocket zip, and pulled out the phone that was singing to Beyonce’s ‘If I was a boy” and handed it to me. “Stupid place to put it if you’d ask me!” She then seized my hand and pulled me forward as I mumbled a hello into the phone.

“Hey watch it!” She was pulling me forward like a kindergarten child on her first day to school and definitely making a scene though nobody was watching. “I buy very expensive products to have that skin look like that and you are ruining it!”

“Shove it, sweetie! Your diva attitude’s starting to irritate me.”

Oh shit! Damn, I was on the phone!

“Ubi Makasi here, who am I speaking to?”

“She finally remembers she was on the phone,” the voice chuckled. God damn it! A deep-throaty male voice like that would do things to someone! And I bet he knew it too. Holy Lord! Even Dr.Love’s voice on Classic 105 radio did not sound like that! It was the kind of voice I’d want saying sweet little nothings too and… oh hell, my mind was already veering off toward things Naila would rather not see written on my face because I would never hear the end of it.

“Nathaniel here miss. I was told to come to check out your computer. You reported it had a problem?” Talk of an oozy, drippy honey voice with an up-class polished accent coming through my phone!

“God, what was I high on now? Stupid hormones! Fuck Ubi! Get a grip!” I mattered to myself.

“Hello, are you there? Ubi? UUUbiii? I can hear you breathing!” His voice was playful, taunting almost.

“Ye… Yes, I can hear you, where are you right now?” Oh shit! This guy knew exactly what he is doing and I just fell for it! Huh!

“At the main gate. Meet me in 10.”

Then the phone went dead. “The fuck?” I gave a quizzical look while staring at the phone.

“First time I heard you curse that much was after you broke up with Mr. Dickface. Everything okay?” Naila had been staring at me like she was watching a movie that was spewing suspense.

“I’ll meet you after class hun! Something came up! Got a feeling this day just got a whole lot brighter! I got fish to fry!”

On seeing her confused look I added, “Tell you all about it later!” with that, I gave her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek and made a u-turn. I could tell she wanted to skin me alive.

I made a beeline for the washroom that was a few feet from where we were standing all the while swishing my black mid-thigh shirt-dress.

I quickly emptied my bag into a free sink, throwing everything in, and redid my purple lipstick, blush, black eyeliner, and mascara. Had to make that face pop honey! First impressions made it or broke it. Next, I had to spray some breath freshener into my mouth and change my pad. Yes, if you are wondering, it was that time of the month.

embarrassing moment

Ring! Ring! It was Mr. sexy voice on the phone! I quickly grabbed my stuff, and absent-mindedly shoved it all into the bag, staring at myself in the full-length mirror while answering the phone saying I was a few seconds away.

“I’m at the parking lot. Red v-neck t-shirt, and black jeans. Still far away? I’m in a hurry,” said Mr. sexy voice.

“Be there in a sec.” My tone was confident and no-nonsense. I was still trying to figure out if he had been rude or simply lacked in basic social skills! The former seemed to hold more water in my view.

The sight that greeted me squashed air out of my lungs! I had to remind myself to breathe.

There was an Asian guy, mid-twentyish, tall, and built with a bob haircut leaning against a black Mercedes saloon car typing ferociously at an expensive phone matching the exact same description he gave me. I first gave out a whistle. Leaning against such an expensive car could only mean that he owned it! A sniff of his strong cologne tingled my nostrils making me smile automatically. This was someone I would definitely want to know.

Not only that, I was a few steps away when I fully observed him closely. Pierced nose. Diamond stud on his left ear. Pearl white teeth. Expensive Nike shoes that probably were triple my whole outfit. Drop-dead attractive. Gold chain on his neck, with messy stubble on his chin. This guy had the sign “bad boy” stuck all over him from what I was seeing and we all know they are never up to no good. My warning bells were on full siren!

“Ubi breathe,” I mussitated.  In actual truth, my confidence had been knocked down a notch! Surely it was a sin to look this good and be this loaded.

Plastic smile. Check. Squared shoulders, check. Confident walk, check. Sunglasses on, check. Bitchy ass attitude, check. From there I breezed through and walked up to him.

“Good morning! You must be Nathaniel. I’m Ubi, pleasure to meet your acquaintance, and sorry to have kept you waiting.” I extended my arm gracefully.

Nathaniel looked up from his phone which I was observant to note was the latest iPhone on the market, gave a toothy grin that did not quite reach his eyes, and shook my hand politely.

“The computer please, may I see it?” his tone was authoritative, almost as if he was talking to his submissive maidservant.

The fuck? A pure snob!

In my mind, I was simply giving myself a gut-kick. You mean I was not even that attractive to notice? Holy hell and here I was thinking I normally made heads turn! Talk of pride downsized way beyond the appropriate level!

I zipped my bag open and almost threw the computer at him only to catch myself and remind myself to behave. “I think it needs reprogramming. I cannot open any of the software applications, access WiFi or save any documents.” My tone was clipped.

“I will have a look and return it in three days max,” he was still typing away at his phone, not looking my way even one bit which I found humiliating. Jeez!

“Let it be three days, please. Got lots of assignments to finish up and I really need it” My arms were crossed, sizing him up.

Once he’d taken it, I turned on my heels and wanted to strut my way through that parking lot making the statement that I did not give a damn, not bothering with the pleasantries of a goodbye. I had my pride to revamp back to its appropriate level!

I had taken three steps away when the left heel of my four-inch stiletto snapped and I lost my balance which sent me flying face first on the tarmacked parking lot in shock came out a sharp scream aaaaaaaahhhhhh! My arms automatically came forward to lessen the impact of the fall. I had let go of the handbag! More like sent it flying on its own as well.

My arms were a little bruised but my first instinct was to look back at Nathaniel aka Mr. Snob. The asshole was enjoying himself thoroughly! His head was cocked to the side, arms and legs crossed with a smirk on his face as his eyes turned from me to a few steps from where I was, then back to me. I followed his eyes.

My bag was still unzipped. Guess what had come flying out as well? A freaking used pad! Where the hell did that even come from? Then it dawned on me. I had shoved it into the bag as well instead of disposing of it as I was answering Mr. Snob ass’ call. And not only that! My grandma panties were also peeping out of my bag! Wonder why? I use my ugliest panties during my period so that I do not have to stain the good ones.

I was palpitating, my mouth dry and feeling dizzy! I wanted to die. This sham of a man did not even have the decency to give a hand to a damsel in distress! It was a good thing no one else was in the parking lot yet.

As if reading my mind, he laughably said, “Looks like you need a little help Ubi. Need a hand?” His amused smile was now a huge grin!

“Go fuck yourself, mister!” I gave him the F fingers with both my hands! “Never seen blood before? The only difference is that it is on some fucking pad?” In an actual sense, I wanted to bury my face in the sand I would be damned before this sorry-ass shit ever got to see it!

“Suit yourself!” The asshole got into his car, started it, and drove off!

Dumfounded would be an understatement! Shocked would not quite describe what I was feeling. If looks could kill, he would be simmering in hell! I wanted a gun! At the same time, I wanted a bucket to fill my tears in. Already the tear ducts were giving me a signal. Holy crap!!

All I needed at the moment was one of my all-time favorites!

embarrassing moment

Love, Laughter, Peace, Joy, Prosperity, Abundance!!

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