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“This world is only conquered with a fighting spirit because there are times when it will shit on you good, chew you like cud then spit you out. There are also moments when it will make you a bed of roses and let you lie on it. The problem is we will always want to lie on the bed of roses and find it unfair to be shit on.”

You know, there is a reason why I studied psychology, but I have not become a psychotherapist to date. Here is a secret I share with everyone today.

I say this with love in my heart and this is the kind I call TOUGH love. Honey, STOP THE PITY PARTY AND GET ON WITH IT.


I cannot keep my passion in for anyone who dares pity herself or himself. It will simply rile up my passion and make me want to flog them into reality because they are in a slumber that’s heading nowhere.

What I say might seem harsh but darling I am here to give you a reality check not to powder your nose and rub your back saying “There, there dear” as you blow your nose into your shirt and sniff like a Gorilla heaving in pain when just about to give birth.

I did heave like a gorilla in labor. Keep up dear because the inner giant that was asleep is about to be splashed with cold water so that it wakes up!

There was this one time I was at a club with some friends and honey these were hard times! I took to the floor like I owned it, swung my hips better than Beyonce, screamed my heart out, and danced dirty as hell had just visited planet earth!

You know how we do! I wanted to get all that negativity out of my system and I was going to shake it till I make it! Mama mia!

Even though I had sworn to not drink, this one called for the ‘break rule’ sign, and man, I was aiming for the kill.

I had gobbled down a few shots and was not drunk but tipsy. NOTE. Tipsy but not drunk. I’m trying to protect a legacy here!

The word party animal would be belittling in this case. I was a wild tigress whose cage had been let loose, and for a personality known to be introverted and reserved, this was worth having an audience glued to the show, popcorn in hand and wine glasses to say “cheers” in.


I simply wanted to forget. It was an ambition I was not going to back out on.

The bottom line is I was acting out. What I did not know was that it was about to get worse. I received word that some very close people to me had gotten into an accident as they were driving back home.

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In that disillusioned state, I acted like I did not give a damn and continued with my charade. Only those who knew me really well knew something was up.

One kind soul noticed that something was up and as we clicked tot glasses and said to hell with problems, shots in hand, and took a swig, he finally asked me what was up.


The keys to the floodgates had been opened with those words simple words. It got to me finally and the tears started flowing.

I tried to hide them but my tear ducts opened a flood gate coupled with a monstrous thunderstorm of emotions heaped to capacity and having busted their reigns.

A walking hurricane, I was heaving like a chimpanzee mourning its child. I don’t even know if there is such a thing but it sounds fancy right?

Apparently, I was with a wild crew and I was not the only one clinging to my problems with the comfort of my bottle which proves my point.

Everyone has problems. It got violent, and we were kicked out of the club. The aim was to party hard, and my crew was not done for the night yet.

They headed straight into another one but I found it pointless. I wanted to be by myself and brood as sorrow clawed at me.

One of the girls I was with dragged me by hand and said, “Damn boo! Get a grip! Stop acting like you are the only one with problems.”

Who in their right minds dares give such a remark! But wait a minute, none of us were in our right minds.

I wanted a comforting hug but what I was given was a rough slap into reality. My fuzzy mind immediately sobered up.

“Bitch! What did you just say to me?” These were the words at the tip of my tongue about to be spat out.

In my tipsy state, I wanted to give her a piece of my mind and slap her hard. Come on you don’t mess with me babe, I’m evil! LOL, we never do half of what our imaginative minds tell us to do, do we?

But then instead of that, I gave her a look enough to drill holes into her skull from front to back and told her to get her fucking face out my sight.

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I bet you have this look on your face that says, damn bitch! You’re mean!

Nah, I wish I had the temerity for that. What I really told her was to leave me alone and she simply did. Kindly unfold that fist you wanted to punch me with 😉

End of story. Wipe the tears y’all I’m done.

Days after that incident, my darling friend who I am likely to never meet again made me think, and think hard!


She was actually right! She was not going to join me in my pity party, it was the best way, in her state, that she knew how to give a hand.

Sweetie, this world is going to shit on you a good one. Then it will pee on you and make you drink it! It will give you blows like the ones Mike Tyson kept receiving.

Deceive you and heartbreak you, it will kick you in the groin. It will slap your pretty face hard, leaving hand marks in its trail. It will chew you like cud then spit you out.

This world is sometimes harsh honey and only the fighters survive it.

But that is not all. There are times when it will give you the finest of wines and make you a bed of roses. It will give you a perfumed smell of flowers only the finest gardens can provide, take you to the moon and back.

Then make you breathe the warm salty fresh air of the ocean, experience ecstasy in love, or as you dine in the most refined resorts, with aromas heavenly and food that tantalizes your taste buds enough to make your stomach shudder in want.

You will have a ceremonious spirit, a very confident walk, a joyful smile emanating from your soul and the world will feel heavenly.

Point is, as much as the world has its good moments, it will not pity you, honey! It just won’t. It will not be conquered by a shy timid spirit, but by the spirit of a brave courageous warrior, with scars signifying marks of past won battles, a sharp sense of purpose, and with a confident mission to succeed no matter what.

Whenever the world is extremely harsh to you as stated earlier and it leaves you breathing, please know that it was not to break you, but the pain was to teach you.

Leak those wounds and let them heal, cry it all out or face it like an angry lion and then TAKE YOUR ASS OFF THAT GROUND, WIPE YOURSELF CLEAN, AND GET BACK INTO THAT RING OF LIFE AND FIGHT LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT BECAUSE IT DOES!

I did not fully understand why I was going through all that but now that I look back, I am actually glad I did because it changed me for the better, and love I can tell you right now that I am tough, like a diamond rock, glowing with inner beauty and impossible to break.

My aim is not to brag. I am simply driving the point home.

Things do not happen to you darling! They happen for you. And so even as life gives you the worst of treatments, know that it has your best interest at heart.


Get that attitude in check, Keep that glow in you and anticipate that pain. Do not run away from it because it has come to teach you something! Sweetie that’s the truth, it really has.

Stop with the pity party and get on with it. Honey, this world needs you. There is a gift inside you that no one else has. A mission designed for you that no one else can execute!

Don’t you know that within you is a power to change the world? I mean that! Cliché’ as it sounds. And before you roll those gorgeous eyes at me, know that I know what I’m saying!

Don’t you know that within you is a gene of genius that is to solve today’s world problem? Don’t you know that the candle burning bright in your heart is meant to light the ones that are dim or the ones that have blown out?

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You are important sweetie, just like each part of a house has importance, you have meaning in this world house.

The dream that lives in you awaits that you live it and life at times will slap you hard just so that you wake up and make it a reality!

So get your ass off that couch and get on with it! Dry those tears and get on with it! Straighten those drooping shoulders caused by disappointment and get on with it!

Play the game of life, aiming to win and get on with it because you certainly will! Switch off that television and that phone.

Stop idle chatting and get your lazy ass up and on with it! Bury that sorrow, grieve it for some time, then get that confidence back on and get on with it!

Get your sexy back and get on with it! Smash and throw away those bottles of whiskey that you have been drowning yourself in making you evoke fumes that kill mosquitos and what? Get on with it!


JUST DO IT! Get that addiction out of your system because you definitely can do it! Others have! Each person is a genius but you cannot judge a fish’s brilliance by its ability to climb a tree!

Ask yourself what the next step is towards climbing that staircase that seems gigantic, take in a puff of courage, and take the damn step!

Slap that giant inside you that’s been on hibernation and tell it you both got work to do! You got a world to change!


So honey, get a grip! Stop acting like you are the only one with problems and what! GET ON WITH IT! You are a warrior; fierce, sharp, and witty so start acting like it!

And darling dear if I find you pitying yourself again, acting like you are not important, I will give you a warm hug, patiently hold your hand and remind you that you are.

If that does not work honey I will slap you good and get some sense into your head because your destiny is too important to waste in self-pity! I’m dead serious! Call me mean but I sure do care 😉

I will not walk away though because we are in this race together with no winners or losers because each is in a maze of their own!

There is a reason why I have not practiced Psychology, and now you know why.


I send you love and light!


Love, Laughter, Peace, Joy, Prosperity, Abundance