To you my darling Angel,
Hey Angel. I saw you today sitting under a mango tree. There were children nearby but you watched them with tears in your eyes.
I heard you sniff, then wipe your tears with the back of your hand. Your hair was disheveled and it seems as if you had been pulling at it from time to time, hoping they would ease your inner turmoil.
Angel, your head was cast down, as if the weight of the world hung on your back. Your shirt dress was soiled but you did not care.
From your eyes, I could see that you longed for something more especially when you looked at those children and saw their carefree attitude.
I approached you then and at first, you did not notice me. Angel, I touched your shoulder and you jerked and in your eyes, I could sense your fear.
Your anxiety was palpable especially when your fingers started shaking. I tried to calm you down but you recoiled even further and did not want my comfort.
Sat beside you anyway and together we sat side by side in silence which was at first strained but then became peaceful.
Your eyes were weary and deeply sad felt moved to share my story with you. At first, it began as a whisper, then faint and picked up laced with emotion after that.
“My name is Sande,” I whispered. “I am 24 years old but still in form 3 going to form 4. Never have I known my parents, and I was once a street boy up to when I was 16 years old.”
When is started my story you seemed not to listen, I read your body language and I could sense your hesitance, but I continued anyway, hoping it would make you feel better.
“For a very long time in my life, I felt like rubbish. I mean, who would want anyone like me. My mother did not want me and I was rescued from a pit latrine after being left to die. It was a good samaritan that picked me up and reported my case then chose to live with me.
“She had 11 other children and life was hard. I was made to do domestic chores from when I was 4 and a half years old.
Got bullied by the other siblings and the story about me being picked up from the pit latrine was forever my demise. I was a little one who was sinking into depression and I kept looking for a way out someday.
At age 7, I got raped, sodomized to be more specific by one of the older siblings in that family. I did not know what that was.
All I felt was pain, deep pain as he took away my innocence.
That is when my heart became hateful. I could not tell anyone because they would never believe me.
This was my cross to bear and my secret to keep. But then, when he started making a habit of threatening me to do things for him or he would tell on me and have me thrown out of the house, I decided it was time to leave.
That is how I landed in the murky streets of Kisumu, with nothing apart from the money I had taken from the woman’s purse. I do not want to say the names because that might put me in trouble.
In the streets, life was hard at first. For you to survive you had to be in a gang, and I was in none. I got one eventually though.
Did drugs to numb my turmoil and misery. I sniffed glue to forget. The world was a very harsh place to live in and I wanted to punish the universe for bringing me into the world only to make me suffer this much.
And so I mugged people, I beat people up, I robbed, I was cruel, I cheated, I bullied, I scared people and I did not give a damn because I had nothing to lose.
I wanted to share my pain with the world but the only way I knew how was to punish it too. Also, I was paid to practice prostitution.
The police did not scare me, because like I said, I had nothing to lose Angel.
And then one day, as I was from pickpocketing some well-built ghost of a person who had been speaking on the phone, I got caught.
The man was super fast, he straddled me to the ground, beat me senselessly, and stabbed me close to my shoulder. Then he spat on me and left me to die.
That was the day I saw death looming over my head. I knew I was dying. Blood was gushing out through the knife wound and my face was swollen from the beating.
Death scared me though and I knew this is not the way I had imagined myself dying.
With excruciating pain, I rose to my feet and found my way to the main road. I had been hidden in the nearby bushes.
I do not remember much else but I remember fainting just as I was getting to the road. The next time I woke up, I was in a hospital bed.
By then I was a young lad of 16 years. Slowly, I took in the surroundings, and at first, I could not remember my past.
I tried to lift my arm only to feel immense pain shooting up my arm from my shoulders. I tried to speak but my throat was dry and my voice hoarse.
No voice came out and it seemed as if my throat had been scrubbed with sandpaper.
At the edge of the bed though, there was this lovely woman smiling down at me. “You are awake my son…” she whispered then touched my forehead with care. “You will be okay, have some rest”
“But who are you? Where am I? what happened to me?” I asked worriedly.
“Shhhh… all will be revealed in good time. Go back to sleep now. The nurse will give you something for the pain and all will be well,” she answered faintly.
The rest is history.
For the first time in my life, someone showed me kindness. I was in one of the most expensive hospitals around.
For the first time, I felt care and love, something I had never known existed. For the first time, this worthless piece of garbage had someone see value in it and treat it with care.
Life is a maze and that is where my life took a u-turn and was never the same. I have known love and hatred at their extremes.”
When I finished my story, your face showed gratitude, Angel. You did not have to say because your face and eyes said it all.
There was a faint smile on your face, very slight and one had to be very keen to notice it. I told you the story because I wanted you to know that on the other side of despair, there is always hope and on the other side of hatred, there is always love.
No situation is permanent.
We just have to accept the low moments, find joy even at such times and enjoy the good moments to the fullest. And so whatever u going through, good or bad, it is just a phase for the next level.
This you received with little dancing twinkles in your eyes. Angel, you reached out, took my hand, and hugged me tightly.
You told me that at that moment in your life, you had given up and you were praying to God for a way out. That if he did not help you, you were going to end your life, and it would be His fault.
You told me that I was your guardian angel
From that day onwards I had made a friend, and opening up was all it took to change a life.
Someone who understands…
Love, Laughter, Peace, Joy, Prosperity, Abundance