Why do people cheat aaahhhh? Relationships. As I write this down, a sigh escapes my lips and a river of nostalgic feelings starts to flow through me.
Relationships… For some, the word leaves a tingling wake as their hearts burn in passion while some ache in bitterness, frustration, and regret as pain palpitates within them and tears threaten to fall.
I have had my own share of both. In fact, each relationship has had its passionate moments that have then turned to pain as it ended.
Excruciating as it may seem, some relationships end because one partner cheats. The question begging an answer then becomes, why do people cheat, you may ask? This article answers this question.
Nothing happens in our lives without us contributing to its presence.
In one way or another, we create our reality. By imagining it, feeling some type of way about it, giving attention to it through thought, or acting it out in some way we magnetize situations towards ourselves.
Your relationships end because, at some level, you start fearing that they will. The more you give it this energy, the more it grows.
Complaining about it gives it energy. Feeling grumpy about it gives it energy. Paying attention to the doubt about whether you made the right decision by being with this person gives it energy. Doubt gives it energy.
Why do people cheat when passion wanes?
It may also be that a part of you starts wishing that it ends and you start sabotaging it by pushing people away. Suddenly you do not want it as much as you did before. The enthusiasm that you had at first starts fading and the passion and connection that was there before wanes. You may then start asking or getting glimpses of insight into the question, “why do people cheat?”
In essence, there are phases in a relationship and one needs to understand and know them. A typical relationship starts with a mad passion that then progresses to fights and conflict as you both try to find the equilibrium of the relationship. Once you find the equilibrium then the connection becomes deeper. You get to see who your partner really is, in-depth and still decide to be with them. It is like you can look into their soul and see them for who they really are.
We cheat when passion wanes and we want to feel that live, bubble rush that gives us such a high. One reason why passion wanes may be because of the phases a relationship needs to go through so it may be time to hang tight and ride through the seasons because it eventually pays off.
When we feel like something is missing!
Another reason is that right from the beginning we just feel like something is missing in the relationship. As though our inner being already knows that this person is a no!
Listen to this feeling. Follow your good feelings instead. Follow your bliss because even though we fight the feeling that something is off, at one time or another we will have to acknowledge it.
Your partner also has to feel like they are loved. Saying ‘I love you’ is never enough in most cases especially when the other person does not believe that you do. What can you do in this case then? Speak their love language.
How to speak their love language.
Everyone has one. Find out what it is and do more of it. For some, it is acts of service. Some feel loved when you give them time and just listen. Others feel it when you choose not to judge, even when they show you their worst. For others, it is forgiveness in whatever form.
Some see it in the little things. It may be in sharing the little you have with them. Acts of kindness. Choosing to stay with them when they are sick. Keeping their secrets. Standing up for them when they are being criticized.
However, everyone can tell when something is sincere and from the heart. Most especially those in tune with themselves. The aim is not to manipulate your partner. It is to make the connection stronger and deeper. The aim is to speak the language of their soul. If it is not sincere, it will not work and if it does then this will only be short-term.
Karma is a bitch though. If you are trying to manipulate the situation, the universe has a way of slapping you in the face tragically! Only do to another what you would have them do to you.
How to make a relationship work?
After asking, “why do people cheat?” I once asked someone how to make a relationship work. Pointedly they said, just be like the person you want to attract. This does not mean that you should become someone you are not. Be uniquely you. When you are, you will attract someone who matches your energy.
I yet asked another and he said, “Be the person they admire the most. Find out what that is and be that.” But then I wondered, I cannot be like another. I can only be myself.
Even though we might fake it by being the person they idolize when it all gets comfortable the cracks of your real self start showing. If there is a discrepancy, the cracks get bigger and eventually rupture. Major disaster!
This being said, it is not an excuse for us to not be our best selves in every way. It is only the best that attracts the best. This means that we have to do the work. Bring in the A game and crush it with a bang! How? Lean into your sexuality, intellect, swag, and charm and thus find your power which brings out your confidence and your inner glow.
A relationship is not your main aim in life. Your partner only mirrors you. Your main goal is growth and evolution. As you aim to evolve and reflect more of your inner being, so does the relationship transition. The quality changes and the person will either fall off the wagon or elevate with you.
When you focus on your evolution, you emit light so bright that most people will be drawn to it. Even your partner will find this attractive. Not unless they are blinded by it or in parallel energy that does not align with yours.
In conclusion, when a partner cheats, it may not always be about you. It may be about them and what they are going through. The focus should be on you and only you for that is the purpose of a relationship. What is self doing? How is self-growing? What is self-becoming? Who is self? The mirror (your partner) will match that always. Remember. You create your reality. If you want to change your partner, first change yourself. The mirror will reflect it.